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| The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want | 
| Author: Sonja Lyubomirsky
Publisher: Penguin Press HC, The
Category: Book
List Price: $25.95
Buy New: $12.47
You Save: $13.48 (52%)
Buy New/Used/Collectible from $12.25
Avg. Customer Rating:  (46 reviews)
Sales Rank: 8211
Languages: English (Original Language), English (Unknown), English (Published)
Media: Hardcover
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 384
Shipping Weight (lbs): 1.3
Dimensions (in): 9.2 x 6.3 x 1.5
ISBN: 159420148X
Dewey Decimal Number: 158
EAN: 9781594201486
ASIN: 159420148X
Publication Date: December 27, 2007
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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| Customer Reviews:
 The many paths October 8, 2008
1 out of 2 found this review helpful
This book doesn't show a way to be happy. It shows many ways to be happy, and leaves it to the reader to decide what will work best for herself. The suggestions are backed up by research, as is the author's thesis that only about half one's natural happiness level, or set point, is determined by one's genes. Life circumstances play only a small role. The rest -- about 40 percent -- is up to you. A great book when you have the blahs. I believe it could be helpful to someone recovering from grief or trauma, too.
It works, and let me add a bit.... October 5, 2008
5 out of 5 found this review helpful
I bought this book not to become happy but because it was written by my colleague Sonja Lyubomirsky; I knew her from work, found her research interesting, and wanted to find out more. The book actually did make me happier. I knew most of the material from the professional journals, but Dr. Lyubomirsky puts it together for you much better than the scattered and hard-to-read research papers do!
The interesting thing here is not so much what works as that science has found SOME classic ways of being happy do work--being grateful, forgiving, having goals, and more. Others do NOT work: notably, making money. No one misses the point that Americans are much richer than they were 60 years ago but are also considerably unhappier. Another notably unsuccessful strategy for happiness is running down other people. Many friends of mine seem to depend on this to keep themselves feeling adequate. It doesn't work. Dr. Lyubomirsky points out that emphasizing the positive is the way to go.
Working in China and with Chinese data, I ran into a delightful Chinese proverb. My favorite form goes like this: "If you would be happy for three hours, get drunk. If you would be happy for three days, roast a pig. If you would be happy for three months, get married. If you would be happy for a lifetime, plant a garden." There are other possibilities in other forms of this proverb, but the idea is clear: we habituate fast to many kinds of happiness, and they don't work for long, but others give true lifetime satisfaction.
A point made by Dr. Lyubomirsky, but maybe a bit buried in the data, is worth bringing out more strongly from my own case: All the real satisfaction and long-term pleasure in my life has come from things that were highly challenging, and thus not always fun or happy at the time. "Climbing higher mountains" is hard work and you often get rained or snowed on. I took freshman chemistry from Dr. Gary Nash, who was a legendary teacher--if you ever had him, you haven't forgotten it. I worked harder than ever before or since, hated the work, and almost flunked, but the class was a Great Experience anyway. Dr. Nash (who died tragically young--said to have literally worked himself to death) was like that. Since then I've worked terribly hard at a lot of things, and some were frustrating, but all were satisfying.
By contrast, getting drunk and eating a pig (and taking easy college courses) are fine in their place, but they provide strictly time-limited happiness.
One other scientific finding mentioned but not highlighted here: People who get along well with people--who are socially skilled and socially sensitive--do better and are much happier than others, on average. (There are many conspicuous exceptions, however.) This is a two-way street: being happy makes you nicer, other things being equal, but being socially skilled most certainly leads to a lot of good times, while being socially inept leads to a lot of major trouble and grief. The reason for not highlighting it is good, though: people can adjust and learn to be happy anyway. It may take more work.
One last matter of interest is optimism. The most robust finding in the happiness literature is that optimistic people are happier than pessimistic ones. Yes, but there is a Tao of optimism. If you are optimistic about YOURSELF, your real goals, your work, and your ability to cope with problems, you are in fine space--it helps a lot. However, if you are optimistic about the world in general, and especially about people, you may be in for a very great deal of major unhappiness. You wind up assuming you can avoid traffic tickets when speeding, or answering those emails from Nigeria, or expecting the best of American politicians, or trusting non-licensed businessmen and medical practitioners. A healthy caution in dealing with people is necessary in this world. Go with demonstrated performance. Good luck.
Wow! September 23, 2008
1 out of 2 found this review helpful
The book presents a significant number of things that I can choose from, that I can actually implement, that will positively affect the quality of my life. Remarkable! There is something for everyone here.
You can achieve happiness August 31, 2008
2 out of 3 found this review helpful
This book, as advertised, is a scientific study of the subject of personal happiness. If you read this book with attention and intention, you will find your personal gateway to more happiness in life.
Commonly accepted notions of happiness are dispelled as myths. You will be surprised to learn that wealth alone does not buy real happiness( which is a permanent change of one's psychological state) and even more surprised to find out why. Neither does moving to the exotic locale of your dreams. That'll shock you. The real source of happiness, the author contends, for each individual can be found by identifying, from a number of scientifically developed strategies, which one or more can most effectively be applied by that indivdual. A simple test one takes before the main material is presented points you in the right direction. The author suggests that one might jump directly to the appropriate material, but does state that it's ok to read everything if you want. You might be surprised to find, for example, that learning gratitude, as simple and "hokey" as such a pursuit sounds, will make you a significantly happier person. The author cites scientific verification of her theories on the effectiveness of this happiness "activity", as she does for the twelve other activities, grouped under "stragegies" that she presents.
This material works. If you feel that you want more happiness in life read, and consider applying, the results of the author's scientific study of the subject of happiness. If you want to be as happy as you personally can be, and each person has a happiness setpoint genetically determined, real happiness IS achievable. Sylvia shows you how.
Your Happiness August 26, 2008
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want
A thorough book on becoming happier based upon research by one of the world's leading happiness experts. The book is based on scientific research not conjective. The author writes well and makes this an interesting read. Identifies the areas that we can influence to help us create a happier life and indicates those that we can't do anything or much about, such as our genetics. Helps the reader identify happiness activities that fit her/his interests,values and needs. Emphasizes the importance of gratitude, positive thinking,kindness and social relationships in finding happiness. Provides many helpful suggestions on managing stress, hardship and depression. A very worthwhile book that provides the reader with a guide to what is likely to produce positive results and what is likely to do nothing more than spin our wheels.
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